Don’t play me baby

Don’t play with my emotions

I’m more than that and you know it

Don’t fucking try me I swear!!!!

I will show you better than I can tell you.

That is all.


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Come to jesus

Im really sad and I did some drugs last night.

Idk if this is going to work for me

I’m way too emotional when it comes to baby

He can just crush me and not even mean to and I think that’s my problem?

Like it’s my fault for being so emotional

Do I always overreact?

It’s my fault

That it probably won’t work

It’s all my fault

Please don’t let this be it

Oh god please

Gimme

Gimme some words baby.

Gimme some knowledge baby.

Gimme some love baby.

I love you baby—never wanna be without my baby.

Just gimme all those sweet things I love and I’ll do the same baby.

Gimme some feeling baby.

Gimme some motivation baby. You always inspire me baby.

Push me to elevate higher baby.

I did it again.

I deleted my socials. Insta, Snap, Twitter. Because I’m tired of checking these apps to see if anyone has checked on me only to be dissapointed. Lmao I’d rather feel crazy talking to whoever may wonder across my words than feel crazy because nobody interacts with me. Lmaoooo anyways I’m crazy. I just did a mile and I have asthma. I smoke cigarettes and weed and I have asthma. But I’m determined to get rid of my asthma by doing at least a mile everyday. I think I weigh like 148 pounds. That’s fucking insane. Peace and love.

Yesterday

Yo. Yesterday was beautiful. My man opened up to me like a beautiful fucking flower blooming in the spring time. We went at each other’s throats and then dressed the others wounds.

Fucking thank you Universe. Thank you for allowing me to connect with a soul as sweet as his.

Jab

I got the jab.


I’m gonna get a car and a gym membership.

And I’m gonna have my car and my gym membership and my job.

Thank you Universe.


Now, no flex I am excited about all of the freedoms that will come with my car. But I should be equally as excited about the responsibility that’s coming with him/her.


I’m hoping to have her by the end of February. Universe guide me. Things are going a little weird in my life. But I’m trying to stay focused and stable within myself. Others may be inconsistent but I can stay SOLID. I think that may be my mantra going into 2018. SOLID.


ANYWHO, peace and love.

FLOPPY

I have no support.
It feels like i’m doing this all by myself.

I mean, aren’t I? Nobody else is living life through my eyes. Someone please correct me if I’m wrong. I just feel so alone, in the sense that, I want what I want and who is going to help me achieve my goals relentlessly>???? other than myself? I only have myself.

Im tired of wanting drugs, I’m tired of wanting to look different, I’m tired of being too tired to do anything. I’m tired of feeling too worn down by the world to fucking deal with my issues. What kind of life is this? Am I still capable of doing normal shit, productive shit?

I’m not going to lie to myself or anyone else. At this point, I’m sober as fuck, and Im pissed. I need some money and some stability so I can do what the fuck I want. And when I fucking get it, man nobody can tell me a fucking thing. Nobody better ask me for a fucking thing. And I fucking mean it.

BABY, I love you, but I’m living for me.

 

Over it.

I’m so over y’all.

Everyone just not giving a fuck about me.

Well I give a fuck about me. And I’ll do whatever the fuck it takes to make sure I’m okay. I just want to cut everyone off. Deadass. Im SO tired of y’all. Y’all the people who don’t see how stressed and depressed a bitch really be. But I’ll show yall.

4/17

I’m ataking  break from my social medias. I’m not sure how I feel. I miss them only sometimes and when I cheat the things I see are only distracting and sad. I feel like I’m better off without them because I’m only comparing myself to everyone else. But I still have this urge or impulse to post things I’m proud of, my own accomplishments. Not in a show-boating way, I just want to share my little piece of happy. But deep inside I think that I also want to see what everyone else has going on, even if I know everyone isn’t sharing positive energy through their posts. 
Anywho it’s national haiku day and I cheated and tweeted some poems earlier. 

I’m conflicted with things going on in the world and how I should react. I’m choosing to grow and shed light on the things that are going well for me as an individual right now. I’m doing the best I’ve ever done at saving my money and I’m closer than ever to making a major purchase that will help me get a step closer to being the independent goddess I know that I am.