I need desperately to work on myself. My habits. My way of thinking. So many things. So this post is me reminding myself to take care of myself at all times. Put me first. Obviously no one else is, and if they are thats unhealthy in my eyes. I’m going to take care of myself. And I’m going to be okay. I deleted all of my social media apps tonight. I might delete some accounts later who knows. Social media just triggers me these days… This is a bit of a rant but still a REMINDER TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!
A bad ass mother fucker.
I’m dealing with some real life shit.
Some honest ass shit.
Idk whats gwon.
I’m really tired recovering from some drugs I did last night.
I want to do better. I need to do better. Do better.
now im committing to sex work.
im going to make the money I need to move on from this stage in my life.
IM FUCKING TIRED OF DRUGS
I want you to feel the pain you’re causing me..and I want you to feel the pain I’ve inflicted upon myself.
I want you to feel this hurt,
but you can’t if I keep numbing it out.
but you can’t if YOU keep numbing it out.
No one can feel anything if we both keep numbing it out.
My flesh and my mind and my soul.
I’ve tainted my mind with darkness.
Meanwhile my entire soul just wants to be free of everything-
thats sometimes good and sometimes bad.
anywho this shit is fucking hardliving like this…
Im eternally internally conflicted. But i know what wolf im feeding tonight.
Im going to starve her until she stops nipping at my heart.
I’ll take care of her, and ill take care of me.
just you wait and see
Someone take me to a show.
I’d like to see a Symphony okay.
I’m losing my mind in this fucking room.
Filled with gloom…
what the fuck is going on man.
I’m so tired of feeling like this.
I need to hurry and figure out what’s going on.
I’m really about to take my black ass to sleep. Not sure if I should smoke a joint and put on my Daddy playlist.
E is being really fucking weird and so is G.
At this point the only person I want it Luke James. The lord took his time when he made that man.
I wish I felt this way about G. I wish I could make it happen, I don’t think this is how that is supposed to feel. I feel like it should be undeniable. I’ve yet to feel that, mutually.
Call me a neck ass but I really liked that New Edition Biopic. It was really fucking good. They did an outstanding job casting those fine black men to bring that to life. Not to mention the amazing renditions they did on some CLASSIC ass baby making music.