All I know is this. 

I need desperately to work on myself. My habits. My way of thinking. So many things. So this post is me reminding myself to take care of myself at all times.  Put me first. Obviously no one else is, and if they are thats unhealthy in my eyes. I’m going to take care of myself. And I’m going to be okay. I deleted all of my social media apps tonight. I might delete some accounts later who knows.  Social media just triggers me these days… This is a bit of a rant but still a REMINDER TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!  

Signing off, 

A bad ass mother fucker. 

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Tired

IM FUCKING TIRED OF DRUGS
I want you to feel the pain you’re causing me..and I want you to feel the pain I’ve inflicted upon myself.
I want you to feel this hurt,
but you can’t if I keep numbing it out.
but you can’t if YOU keep numbing it out.
No one can feel anything if we both keep numbing it out.

COnflicted

Im torn.

My flesh and my mind and my soul.

I’ve tainted my mind with darkness.

Meanwhile my entire soul just wants to be free of everything-
thats sometimes good and sometimes bad.

anywho this shit is fucking hardliving like this…

Im eternally internally conflicted. But i know what wolf im feeding tonight.
Im going to starve her until she stops nipping at my heart.

I’ll take care of her, and ill take care of me.
just you wait and see

 

Lotus Mandala Circular Vest

Morale Fiber

After seeing some great circular vests and talking about them with a fellow crocheter last festival, I came home inspired to do something I’ve had in my notebook for a while – rework my Lotus Throw pattern into a mandala-based circular vest! Which I did, and actually I did twice, which is why this post is a two-parter – each with a different FREE pattern guide based on my FREE Lotus Throw design.

Act 1 can be found here.

Fair warning, these have not been worked over with a fine-toothed comb as I do with my paid patterns. But hey, its FREE.

Edit!: I moved the pictures further down the page (below the written instructions) to make it easier to print!

ACT 2

LotusVest7.jpg

Both patterns a bit more like guides, since the basic circular pattern makes it easy to add or subtract rows, adjust sizing, and freestyle if desired (it’s…

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Daily Dose of Inspiration – Subconscious Mind

Be Inspired..!!

“There is a treasure house of power within the human mind.”

You must use your conscious mind intentionally and take action to direct what your subconscious mind focuses on. You are the Captain, and your subconscious mind is the crew or team of workers deep within the hold of the ship. You decide where to go and the subconscious is your personal servo-mechanism to get you there.

Whenever your subconscious mind accepts an idea, it immediately begins to execute it. It uses all its mighty resources and mobilizes all your senses , knowledge, mental and spiritual powers to that end. You can use this power constructively any time you choose. So don’t try to figure our the A-Z of how you would achieve the desired goal. The path will show itself, all you got to do is relax. But be ready to take action when the path shows itself.

Imagine…

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Chaconne

Someone take me to a show.
I’d like to see a Symphony okay.

Not tomorrow.
Today.

I’m losing my mind in this fucking room.
Filled with gloom…
what the fuck is going on man.
I’m so tired of feeling like this.

I need to hurry and figure out what’s going on.

 

 

Shit’s Weird pt 2

I’m really about to take my black ass to sleep. Not sure if I should smoke a joint and put on my Daddy playlist.
Hmmmm, decisions.
E is being really fucking weird and so is G.

At this point the only person I want it Luke James. The lord took his time when he made that man.

I wish I felt this way about G. I wish I could make it happen, I don’t think this is how that is supposed to feel. I feel like it should be undeniable. I’ve yet to feel that, mutually.

Call me a neck ass but I really liked that New Edition Biopic. It was really fucking good. They did an outstanding job casting those fine black men to bring that to life. Not to mention the amazing renditions they did on some CLASSIC ass baby making music.